I’ve done my best not to expose myself to the vile sewage of current politics, nor did I plan on watching the nauseating display of our incompetent patriarchal system. But when I got home, the tv was spewing bullying hate into my warm, safe living space. It crept like a dark virus around where I practice yoga. It slid onto the couch and over cushions like a noxious insecticide contaminating the room.
I knew better than to observe the crass putrescence on the screen but it’s hard to look away from a train wreck. Since I don’t watch the news, I was shocked to hear the apathetic way someone who represents America callously spoke. I’d seen mean, drunk frat boys with more dignified etiquette. How blatantly clear we need more feminine energy in power to shift the immense imbalance!
How can we be so brainwashed, so ok with attacking and dehumanizing others? When did we become shallow and cruel? To follow or feed monstrous hate is a demoralizing disgrace and an abuse of our gift of life.
I felt as though I’d been poisoned; energetically I had been. My stomach was upset, my breasts and heart center sore, my mind uncomfortably pulsing with disgust, even my womb ached.
Does anyone enjoy viewing, obsessing, or stagnating in such filth? Is so, they’ve got a lot of major inner healing work to do. Allowing uncivilized insanity to consume us only feeds any film over our vulnerable hearts. This was where I had messed up that night.
I refuse to sacrifice my power to heavy, lower vibrational, negative influences that damage my physical, energetic, and emotional bodies. I tell myself not to be affected or hurt by offensive externals, yet still, sleazy venom stung my bones; the hateful speech I usually avoid seeped into my mind like a ghastly shadow.
We are better than this.
I saged the entire house, then I lit the stick again to burn more, especially around the tv that had been the vessel of rude, demotic embarrassment. I walked through the smoke, trying to cleanse myself of the debilitating sludge I’d just witnessed; not a terrible reality show, but a presidential debate.
I shook my body to release the weight of what our country has been blinded by; this heart-wrenching state of affairs which deplete our life force to the point of division.
I played medicine music loud; I painted mandalas on stones with rainbow acrylics. I texted girlfriends then stood outside under the glowing moon and 23 stars I spotted, asking them quietly to save us.
I told a friend I was ready to transition from this world as I didn’t feel I belong. She reminded me to “Be the Light,” which is exactly what we need, what the world needs, what our friends, family, animals, and environment need from us…to care, to be kind, to crawl through the convincing mud of anger, fear and incessant judgment to where we are born to be; living in harmony with the potential to radically improve ourselves and our beloved planet unless we continue to choose to focus on the repulsive idiocy thrown at us from so many directions.
I couldn’t sleep, knowing what a shit show humans have contributed to and accepted; knowing we had failed miserably at feeling into what was right, kind, pure, and compassionate, failed at remembering our unity instead of thirsting like rabid hyenas for small, rotten reasons to argue.
I laid in bed trying to quiet my mind, wanting to be immediately enveloped in the dream world far from the wretched torture in my head. I wondered how my brothers and sisters could possibly stand behind any malevolent, coldblooded bottom feeder. I vowed not to give the toxicity of a gruesome lost soul any more of my precious attention. If I do, I willingly feed him.
I walked mindlessly through the dark house to where I heard the charming family of crickets chatting under my corner altar. At least they knew how to properly communicate.
I heard coyotes howling after midnight, perhaps assuring me of some divine order higher than the corrupt cesspool of the unconscious human mind. I then faintly heard crunching sounds outside my window. As I peered out, I was thrilled to witness a funny little family of javelinas feasting on old watermelon rinds. There were five adults and two piggy-like babies that seemed totally unnerved when I stood outside to watch them. As distress slowly dissolved into awe, I pondered if I could morph into one and live in a cave distanced from our sick society.
I crawled back in bed to envision the night stealing me away, merging me in the dream world with all the things I’d ever loved. I wanted to purge my earlier frustrations while the earth cradled my sacrificed form; Her rich soil sprouting seedlings from what was once my eyes. I wanted my torso to be eaten by earthworms and fungi as my soul earned its wings to fly. I wanted to become a gust of wind; to dance with planets and bathe in stardust. I wanted to hear the laughter of a thousand worlds as they realized the comedy of this cosmic play. I wanted to drown in peaceful silence while my spirit liberated itself from any man-made cages to float in vast, infinite space.
I took nine deep full breaths, pausing in between on the sweet space void of movement, mentally vowed to be the opposite of that which sickens me, then imagined one day traveling far from this profane reality, into the light that I attempt to embody while here in the physical.
We are destined for greatness. Why ever give attention to its opposite?
“We were jerked through life on the wires of our likes and our dislikes, our blind urges and irrational compulsions, like so many marionettes. What a relief it would be to be free from some of these wires, so that we no longer drooped when something happened not to our liking, and revived again when things went well with us. How restful it would be not to have to be right, and to be under no obligation to convince other people that it was they, and not we, who made the mistake.”
In gratitude for the tools to help me navigate this strange realm: breath, music, meditation, movement, creativity, connection, plants, friends, family, the moon, and unwavering trust in the unknown…
